Unforgiveness

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. - Ephesians 4:32

When I was a young minister, my family and I were deeply wounded by the leadership at a church I was serving. It was one of those moments that I remember distinctly. I remember the conversations. I remember the pain. I remember the brokenness. I also remember the deep pain it caused my wife. As a result of this hurt, I walked away from that pastoral position. The open wound was something I carried for several years. It caused me to pray less, and read the scriptures less. It isolated me from many of my brothers and sisters in Christ. In my hurt, I was ignoring the healer of my pain, Christ Jesus.

Many years later, I was at a conference where I heard a brother preaching on 2 Corinthians 5:18-20, the ministry of reconciliation. As he spoke, I remember the Spirit of God doing a major work in my heart and mind. I remember thinking, “How can I be a minister of reconciliation when I have unforgiveness in my heart?” This question took me to my knees in repentance. At that moment, I realized that my unforgiveness toward the church and its leadership was preventing me from walking in the freedom of Christ. I repented before the Lord for holding unforgiveness toward a brother. I then attempted to reach out to the deacon of the church to reconcile the brokenness. I tried a couple of times before finding out that he had gone to be with the Lord. While I never had the opportunity to express my forgiveness, God was at work. You see, during the time I held unforgiveness toward the church, I also alienated many people who loved me. So, for the next few months, I called and visited with brothers and sisters and asked for forgiveness. It was one of the most freeing moments of my life with Christ.

Unforgiveness will destroy everything it touches. It does long-lasting damage to our relationships and our health. It begins to shape our worldview as we bury it deeper and deeper. Unforgiveness is deception to us because it is so easily justified. This is what makes it so damaging. It affects the way we love and the way we trust. If left ignored, it will also impact our love for the church and His people. It will affect our prayer life and our communion with the Lord Jesus. It is sin. Plain and simple. It is a sin that will slowly erode you over time.

One of the reasons unforgiveness festers as it does is because our culture encourages it. We surround ourselves with people that build into it and help us justify our pain. Rather than promote justice, our unforgiveness turns into bitterness. Hebrews 12:14-15 warns, “Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root rises up to cause trouble and defile many.” We have been called to live a life proclaiming the redemption of Christ. In fact, in our regeneration, we were raised to a new life…a fully justified life….a fully forgiven life. We are called to live in and proclaim the forgiveness we were shown in our salvation. Our life and work are in response to the work on the cross by our savior, Jesus. We love because we have been shown a deep love. We forgive because we have been forgiven. We reconcile brokenness because we are the picture of brokenness reconciled.

I understand that this topic will open some painful spots for many. I encourage you to lean into the pain and surround yourself with people who will walk with you down this road of forgiveness. Make that tough phone call. Meet the pain face to face with forgiveness. Give your unforgiving heart over to the only one who can set you free from it, Jesus. Identify the unforgiveness and give it away. In doing so, you will truly understand what it means to walk in freedom.

I love you and consider it an honor to serve as your pastor.

Blessings,

Bro. Kris